since I last wrote... and so many things have happened. so many moments that have given pause for reflection and so many opportunities to grow.
i have started re-exploring yoga outside of Bikram - in classes (not self-practice). and it has been a journey - and I am only 3 days in!! I am still doing my 30 day challenge - DAY 20 here I come tomorrow :) However...at the same time, I have been doing 'other' yoga classes. And what I know so far - its that I need to find a way to combine them both. Because all of a sudden, in the space and strength and release I have to focus on in a non-Bikram class - I have to face myself. The heat and chatter and mirror are taken away and I am left with myself.
Interestingly, or perhaps - expectedly - I have been wobbling. Finding my feet again, and revelling in the stability when I do. There is the opportunity to search deep into the corners of myself which are clinging onto my hear, my hurts, and my happiness. and let me say - my hips are definitely talking back to me and shedding their tears!
and when i go back to my Bikram, my challenge and my comfort. the sweat is like a panacea that washes and lubricates. it is not only the yoga asana, it is the yoga in the relationships, the people, the energy. and I have such heartspace for this and these moments.
every day of this challenge has been different. I am tighter now than I was last week. I can't touch my head to toes in padahustasana any longer. I am now buzzzing into my evenings, powered by the unexpected energy of working with the sunrise and my practice. i am honouring my hamstrings and working on holding back and not bringing ego into meditation.
the other night - as I worked through 'fertility flow' (no I am not trying to get pregnant - just tap into the woman within :P), the teacher commented that after all the hip opening and root chakra work we had been doing, there was suddenly all this space. And there was - tangible and immeasurable. and she said ' it is what you choose to fill the space with...the food you eat, the energies you share, the words you say to yourself, the life you fill your heart and body and tissues with'.
That really stayed with me - literally (as with every step I took, my hips reminded me of what they were carrying, but also what they had released), and as a point of reflection. It reawakened my awareness to life off the mat - and I guess really the yamas and niyamas that Patanjali refers to in the Yoga Sutra's.
I realize I have been writing primarily about yoga today, but I feel it has become inherent to my be-ing. this exploration, this journey has unexpectedly shifted my foundations, and it is only now, 5.5 years into my practice, that I am starting to realize the space in between where I am and where I was. a realization that without this, I would be a different person, in a very different place. perhaps. and then again. perhaps not.
Is it fact our destiny to become who we are meant to be, and then only our journey to that destiny that may take different routes?
it is like the space between the in and the out breath. not necessarily consciously noticed, but always there. linking the action and reaction. the past to the present. but in fact - is the only moment which is the now.
judith hanson laseter - a fantastic and thought provoking lady wrote for today:
'it is about learning, not about getting it right'
what does that mean for me? for intentions and effort? for peace and alignment - of the body, and of the soul - acceptance, acknowledgement, and silence.
lastly...
in class today, unexpectedly I met a good friend. it wasn't planned and she shared something the teacher had said during an adjustment; ' go ahead, lean back, the universe is waiting' ...
and she did, and it was.
somethings, they are true. it is only the believing which is the leap of faith.
night night
"Is it fact our destiny to become who we are meant to be, and then only our journey to that destiny that may take different routes?"
ReplyDelete"it is about learning, not about getting it right"
HOW VERY TRUE !!!
BUT WHY SO --->
BECAUSE --->
We all are on a TRANSIENT Journey on Earth as 'Human Beings' ---&--- ALL that we Acquire on this Journey & Experience is TRANSIENT ie is SHED or RELEASED ABSOLUTELY ie will not stay w us once the physical form is released (we pass away.
NO ONE --- NO BODY IN ALL TIME --- incl queens kings pharoahs saints stars bosses smartest richest beautifullest --- WHOSOEVER ---has ever carried one iota of anything material from their earthly sojourn !!!
Nothing of this Journey can be taken when we 'pass'.
Only the TRANSCENDANT Consciousness aka SOUL or SPIRIT ENERGY remains (I believe) --- with its innate cosmic 'software programs' of individual habits & memories of our actions & motivations.
Bottom Line --- We control & carry NO OUTCOMES.
We (as individuals) DO control to greater or lesser degrees our intents, thoughts, and actions. We are responsible for them, and get programmed by them even as we think & do them. We do unto our own selves by our own actions.
But we (as individuals) DONT control the outcomes ie RESULTS. This verity --- applies from the smallest action to the largest. We may think we (as individuals)control the OUTCOMES or RESULTS, we dont.
Many Infinite Congruences of Events --- most of which generally have specific NO BEARING ON US --- determine the final outcomes alongwith our contribution of individual actions. Most of the time we are one of many contributing factors.
WE DONT CONTROL OUTCOMES aka RESULTS.
--- THUS --- BACK TO THE 'Learning etc' ---
Therefore Judith said --- "it is about learning, not about getting it right".
By 'right' it means a specific OUTCOME ir RESULT.
MY INPUT --- Two Parts --->
Learn & Enjoy/Appreciate.
Because - Reality --- All that the soul and its consciousness can do is --- LEARN & ENJOY THE MOMENT.
A. LEARN --- so that each NEXT Moment is lived in a more fulfilling & peaceful manner (than the prior one)--- so congruent with ones inner intents (the stillness of yogas helps one go within to see ones own real intent).
B. ENJOY --- so that the moment is not just a chore but Appreciated as a Grace (because we dont control that which actually resulted)--- something to remember & re-live as a happy memory.
EG --- I avoided an accident when I made a unsignalled pass on the highway --- a) I learnt to be more careful, b) I appreciated that I am alive, well, and the others are also so, and the vehicles are undamaged & no additional costs incurred. The learning is VI, BUT appreciating the non destructive aka peaceful outcome is very impt too. Because many things could have gone very wrong, but did not --- due to circumstances beyond my own control.
So --- You are Right --->
LOOK WITHIN EACH MOMENT to see a) What can I learn & apply to the next moment?, and b) Why is this moment a 'grace' ie something of value & peace?.
To feel CONTENT & FULFILLED in the Moment is the so called buddhist thought of 'living in the moment'.
Its purpose if fulfilled if we can learn & enjoy.
The prior posted-comment spoke of CHANGE being the original verity ---> thus we know w certainty we cant hold onto that which is passed, we can only learn from it & enjoy the moment.
Therefrom comes one of the 'yoga' injunctions ---"watch the gap between each breath, watch the gap between each thought etc".
The deeper ones goes into these gaps --- the greater the sense of wonder & enjoyment --- that we even 'could' BE and ACTUALLY WERE.
Thus my dictums of triunes --- a) Live (savour)every Moment as if it were your last, b) Do your very best & release the rest, thus c)Live with NO REGRETS.
SCC2